Regret is a feeling of sorrow or remorse over one’s actions. It is a common feeling that has both negative and positive effects on us. It is important for our overall well-being to learn how to move past them.
How can we progress beyond feelings of regret? Let us explore the ABCD process:
Acknowledgement and acceptance
Regret is a natural and common experience and can be painful. It is very tempting to try to avoid the emotions and pain that we are feeling in hopes that it will eventually go away. However, avoiding such feelings of regret can actually make it worse. You might feel alright in the present but as these negative feelings of regret accumulate and go unmanaged, there might come a day where it overflows and become overwhelming. It is therefore a better approach to sit with these feelings of regret and acknowledge them and attempt to accept it. Some mistakes are small, and some are much bigger and more serious in nature. However, it is important to know how to ride through the emotions and come to terms with the situation, whatever it may be.
Be self-compassionate
Be compassionate and kind to yourself. Understand that having regrets does not make you a bad or foolish person. We all make mistakes at some point in our lives. Self-forgiveness, considering your strengths and self-care are ways to practice self-compassion while processing feelings of regret. Being compassionate to yourself can facilitate learning from your experiences and protect you from potential health risks associated with regret. Be patient with yourself and the journey that you are on and try to maintain normalcy and routines in your everyday life to ensure that you take care of your basic needs during these difficult times.
Consider the positives
When we regret something that happened, there are often valuable lessons to be learned from it. This might take some time but always try to focus on the positives and consider the key takeaways from the incident. What has it taught you? Understand the lesson that you have learned and apply it to similar situations in the future to avoid such regrets from reoccurring. If the situation allows, extend an apology as necessary and attempt to make amends.
Dismiss thoughts about ‘what if’
It is very natural to wonder about the ‘what ifs’. However, we must also realise that it is impossible for us to predict the outcome of alternative choices. Sometimes, alternative choices may even result in situations that are worse. It can also be extremely exhausting to be constantly thinking about the endless possibilities of what could have been. Therefore, try to recognise when you are engaging in such unhealthy thought patterns that are neither productive nor helpful.
If you are experiencing feelings of regret, consider adopting the ABCD process to help you navigate through your feelings and experiences. Journaling can help you to better express and process your thoughts and emotions as you work through the ABCDs. Practice mindfulness and engage in breathing exercises or meditation to help relax and clear your mind. You can also reach out to a counsellor for a chat and receive healthy guidance to help process and work through the thoughts and emotions that you may be experiencing. 365CPS provides free counselling for individuals, couples, and families in a wide range of areas. If you wish to seek professional help, do contact us to make an appointment with our 365CPS counsellors.
